Le Cliché
by asterisque
Summary: Meet Miss Cliche. She lives to shop. She tells lil white lies... and she drunkenly spilt all her 'dark' secrets to some hot guy. But if that won't bring down the great Haruno Sakura, what will?... Ding! Ding! One slice of Uchiha Sasuke please!


**DISCLAIMER: ****I DO NOT OWN Sophie Kinsella's _'Can You Keep A Secret?_' or NARUTO.  
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**Yeah this is the _remake_ of my old 'Le Cafe Cliche.' (so if you've read a similiar fic before, its probably my old fic) This fic is still (VERY VERY LOOSELY) based on the book. **

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**A/N: **

**-SQUEAL!- Has anyone seen the new Naruto (shippuuden) opening and ending?! SASUKE IN A SUIT! Who says dreams dun come true? XD (I think all the AU fics paid off!)  
**

**And also: Shippu! Konoha Gakuen Den!! Has anyone seen/read that?! (It's like a mini AU High School version of Naruto.)**

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-x-X-x-

Bri-iiing. Bri-iiing. Bri-iiing.

_Beep._

"Hello! You have reached Haruno Sakura's pizza tree garden! We're currently having some technical difficulties processing your order. If you would like to call again later we would love to help you out."

_Beeeep._

"_Sakura-chan it's me! I think he's cheating on me! Yesterday, no, the day before that! –or was it before that day too? ... I dunno! Argh! What should I do…? I need some advice. Please!!" _

_Beep. _End.

_Beep._

"Hi! You're listening to the Haruno Sakura hotline. Sorry but we're currently out of service. Please call again another time!"

_Beeeep._

"_Foreheads! Geeze. You and your insane answering machine messages, how do you even get it like that?... Anyway…Could you check if I left a blue mini disc on the counter? The old hag is freaking out, I swear I left it there today… call me! Muah!"_

_Beep. _End.

_Beep._

"Haruno Sakura is not here to listen to your problems! But you may reach her at m-e-at-never-never-land-dot-com… Just kidding! Leave a message!"

_Beeeep._

"_Sakura thanks so much for your help! I mean me and Mia are going strong now! I had no idea you woman were into that stuff! Well thanks again! If you ever need a favour feel free to ask anytime!" _

_Beep. _End.

_Beep._

"Hiya!—"

"_Hey Sakura-chan!!"_

"—I'm not here right now… Haha! Bet you thought I was!... Leave a message and I'll get back to ya as soon as I can!"

_Beeeep. _

"… _(Clunk.)…(What happened?)…Oh she's not home… (Then why haven't you hung up you dobe.)…What do you mean?... (Idiot…)… What did you say te—beep. Beep. Beep…"_

_Beep. _End.

_Beep._

"ttttzzzkkk. Please—tzzzk. Check your phone before—ttttttzzkkk calling ageeeeein—_whoosh_."

_Beeeep._

"_This is Yamato from JPN Bank. Miss Haruno, we assure you that our phone is fine, however, you might want to check up on yours. If you receive this message, please know that you have once again denied our meeting because, as said in your last letter, you have suddenly developed a case of glandular fever. I will not hesitate to cancel all your accessible accounts if this continues. We need to sort out your overdue depts."_

_Beep. _End.

_Beep._

"Hi! You have dialed the wrong number! Please hang up and call back some other time!"

_Beeeep. _

"_Listen Sakura, we need to—(Knock. Knock.)— talk. Alright making it short, sorry Saku I won't be able to make it tonight! This-this thing… just came up! Well I gotta go! Bye!" _

_Beep. _End.

_x_

_x_

_x_

_x_

Weird. It was weird I say. Today Aux Délices De Konoha was quiet. A lot quieter than usual.

And if you're wondering what 'Aux Délices De Konoha' is, that's the stupidly long and French name of the café I work at or manage. It literary translate to 'At Konoha Delights', so most people (everyone) just calls it Konoha Delights, because for one, it's a lot easier. And don't even ask me how it's pronounced; I don't even know how to say it.

So anyway Konoha Delights is a famous and quite big café, belonging in the Sharingan branch. (You'll know more about that later on.) So I, being the head pâtissier at this place is quite something. (That's because I walked in here with nothing but a fake accomplished letter saying I came from some posh pastry school in France, which I really didn't.) I came from The Cherry Blossom school of pastry… which really translates to: My kitchen.

Today there are only three of us working at lunch time…

Hinata: Drinks.

Ayame: Waitress.

Me: Pastries.

…which quite struck me. Normally there'd be five people working in the day time and about seven at night. Tsunade must've known today wasn't going to be a busy day.

"Don't you think it's oddly quiet today Sakura-chan?" I heard Hinata ask me from across the counter. I could see she too was lazing around doing nothing.

"Hmm. Yeah. I think its okay though." I said smiling at her. "I think we need a few relaxing days too…" I say softly.

She smiled back at me sweetly with a hint of concern.

"You haven't been acting right lately. You're normally so… so… you know…Is something bothering you Sakura?" I love Hinata. She was just so sweet, caring and honest and just so… amazing really.

"I think Tsunade knew it wasn't going to be packed today…any ideas?" I asked her instead of replying, changing the subject immediately. I really didn't want to bother her with the whole 'Sai' thing.

She shook her head at me apologetically and right then Ayame busted through the back door carrying a big cardboard box.

"Sharingan is launching a new line today!" She squealed excitedly, dropping the box down on the nearest table.

"Huh?" I had no idea what she meant.

"Ah!" Hinata clicked her fingers catching on, "I think I know what you're talking about."

I watched as Ayame nodded vigorously before she sunk down on a chair, sighing disappointedly with a hand brushing her brown hair away from her face.

"I wish I was there! Everyone else is!" She whined. "I wanna see the guys!"

"I think my cousin is one of them." Hinata piped up delightedly.

Blue eyes widened in shock. "NO way!" Ayame screamed, standing up in surprise.

"Your COUSIN is one of the launchers?" She asked disbelievingly.

Hinata nodded with a wide smile I couldn't comprehend.

"What on earth are you guys talking about?" I finally asked.

Ayame looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm surprised you don't know about this Sakura-chan! It's Chidori!"

Oh right. _Chidori._ I think I've read about it somewhere… that word had been plastered on magazines and TV's for some time now.

"I'm _sorry_ I don't keep up with _men's_ fashion lines." I say with a grin.

Ayame immediately dismissed my comment. "It's not the fashion line I expected you to keep up with. It's the _men_ that own, and are launching the line, I was talking about!" She told me with one of those fan-girly sighs.

"I really really reeeeeeeally wish I was there." She whined again. "I mean people are lining up to go into the—"

"Goo!" I interrupted her.

"What?" She blinked at me confusedly.

"Gooooo!" I extended the same word.

"You mean it?" She said with her eyes sparkling wishfully.

"Yeah yeah. There's no customers. So I guess its fine." I told her.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I love yoooou!!" She ran up and squished me into a death hug, to which I heard Hinata giggle at. Then she swiftly took off her apron, grabbed her purse and bolted out of there, leaving a trail of dust behind.

"Well, I'll be at the back if you need me."

She only nodded and went to do… God knows what.

_-x-_

I finished cleaning the store room. Something that I would never do but the time was passing by very slowly; there was nothing else I could do. It was just so quiet and boring and ARGH!

After I was pleased with the layout I walked out and back to the front of the shop.

"Sakura-chan. Could you please give this to the man sitting on the table? I need to go real bad." Hinata said in a strained voice.

"Oh… ohh… sure." She left the prettily designed cup of coffee and the counter before she rushed out to the toilet.

She could've told me we had a customer, but I guess one wasn't that alarming. I picked up the small plate with both hands, one that each side and walked around. It was then I realized I hadn't even looked at the guy…

And when I did… oh boy was did I stand there like a drooling fan girl…

First thing that came to inner-mind was: _**HOLY SHIT! HE'S HOT! HE'S HOT!!**_

Well, that meant to be quick glance immediately upgraded into a stare because frankly, I

couldn't help myself.

He's... He's…

This is quite embarrassing, I'm finding it hard think of words to describe him. The words in my head were seriously sputtering.

Just… all you need to know right now is that he's a sexy dark haired dark eyed hottie!! And I was bringing coffee to him!

When the cup on the small plate was nearly on the table, I let go of the right side so I could set it down. Then something completely unexpected happened. My left arm weakened out!! And the weigh of the cup of coffee made it slide down the paste at an alarming rate before noisily dropping down on the table. Steaming liquid quickly spread across the table and ran down the edge, effectively staining the man's expensive-looking dress shirt and pants.

"Oh my god! I'm so soo sorry!" I apologized immediately as he quickly stood up so no more coffee would fall on him. "I'll get it cleaned immediately!" I was starting to get a little frantic, flushing with embarrassment.

'_**WHOO! We spilt coffee on him!'**_

I split coffee on him. For about a millisecond my mind whooped with joy… I _actually_ spilt hot coffee on a hot guy! One of the clichés I'd been dieing to do! Well I didn't exactly spill it _on_ him… but it still got him, so it was the same deal…

But then I realized as much as I adore clichés. That wasn't exactly the one I had in mind for him…

He looked at me deathly, passively, for second I thought he was going to blow a casket at me. But then suddenly, shockingly, broke out into a grin. Like he suddenly realized something amazing…

'_**It's my good looks isn't it?'**_ I thought jokingly.

"It's alright." He said seriously, before smirking. "I have that effect on people."

'_**Arrogant, definitely.'**_

I noted that his deep, sensual voice did justice for his face.

I really didn't know what to say to that.

It definitely wasn't the typical reaction I was expecting. He looked like a guy who would blow up if something was spilt all over his expensive clothes.

There was an awkwardly pregnant pause. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable under his laughing gaze. I'm sure my face was redder than the shirt I was wearing.

So there was just him, me and my mind. (Which definitely wasn't a good thing.)

"I'm not a waitress." I said very, very lamely.

'_**That was lame!! So so sooo lame!!'**_

'_Well they don't you say something since you're so cool and all!'_

Oh gee. How great. I'm talking to myself again…

Then the stupid hot guy interrupted me.

"And for good reason…" I watched as he scoffed arrogantly. My eyes immediately narrowed at the statement.

Somehow he suddenly got a hundred times uglier.

I mean do I look like waitress? I opened my mouth to say that but immediately shut it when I look down at my apron. My flying piggy apron. Great. Now he probably thinks I'm some klutzy dorky waitress. Which I'm not.

And _this_ is why I hate first impressions. Mine always turned out so _wrong._

He's eyes were glinting wickedly at me, as if he had me all figured out.

'_He does not!'_

"Would you like another cup?" I gritted out the words.

He shook his head. "Maybe another time." He said before attempting to wipe himself with a napkin. After that he just left, walking his powerful stride out the entrance.

'_Nice ass.' _I couldn't help but think.

That was weird. Just plain _weird_. He was _supposed_ to get all and angry and hate me. But he just walked out as if nothing happened.

"What happened?" Hinata asked when she came back in, quickly running to get a cloth for the table.

My gaze lingered on the door he walked out of…

"…nothing…" I said. "Nothing happened."

_-x-_

Oh well. It wasn't like I could do anything.

I'm immune because of my love for Sai.

Speaking of Sai…

He was supposed to call an hour ago. I swear if he breaks up with me (like I think he is) I will…seriously…

… well probably die.

After 11 serious break ups you'd think someone would learn…

Obviously not me.

Here's a dating rule for you.

Rule number 15: Break up with him before he breaks up with you.

Why?

Because it does the same thing, it's inevitable you'll part both ways, but this way you'll feel better about it. (In the short term of course.)

Show him that it's _you_ that doesn't need him, which will probably hit him harder than him dumping you. And…

_Then_ you can go home to your chocolate ice-cream and… cry your eyes out.

…

_-x-X-x-_

I got back home and went straight to check my messages, I knew at least one person would've left one. Going off topic, I absolutely love my answering machine messages.

"Message eight. Received, today, at 2:21 pm…" The answering machine said.

_Beeeep._

"_Sakura-chan! It's Ayame! I'm at the opening! And guess what?! The guy I wanted to see the most, Uchiha Sasuke, THE Uchiha Sasuke, he wasn't there! They said he was busy or something! But I'm so devoed now! Anyways I just wanted to thank you again for letting me off! See you at work."_

_Beep._

"End of message."

Again I had no idea what she was talking about. But I'm sure I will the next time I see her.

_Beep._

"Message seven. Received, today, at 11:38 am…"

_Beeeep._

"_Sakura, listen, I want to be honest with you the message I left before this one was a lie. To be frank I think we should stop seeing each other. I'm sorry Saku and I'm sure you notice it too but we're just got right for each other. Please don't take this to heart. You're an amazing girl you'll find someone really meant for you someday—(Sai-kun what's taking you so long?)—l'm sorry, have to go. All the best. " _

_Beep._

"End of message."

And that's when I officially started hating the number seven…

First thought was: **BASTARD!!**

'_He dumped me on a phone message?!'_

But then it hit me.

Who cares if it was a message or whatever…

The bottom line is I got dumped. Yet again.

I knew it. Well, I didn't really _know_ it. But somewhere deep, deep, deep, down inside I knew this day would come.

The truth is I always said I thought he was going to break up with me, just to prepare myself. So, you know, it'll hurt less. But at the end of the day… when it happens, it still feels like it came from out of nowhere.

I should be sad, and crying or weeping.

But I'm not.

Maybe it hasn't fully sunk in yet…

First – Denial.

Second – Grieve.

Last – Acceptance.

That just means I will be crying my eyes out… tomorrow.

Damn! Where the hell is that bottle of vodka?

_x_

_x_

_x_

_x_

And that's how my cliché little love story began really…

That 'break up' message led me to another, (fortunate or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) encounter with that hot guy.

Who I later _later_ found out, Name is Uchiha Sasuke… AKA Naruto's bastard best friend… or notorious rich player…

Which ever one sounds better… Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

And guess what?

I did something much better than the 'spilling coffee on him' cliché.

I spilt a whole different thing to (or on) him…

_... _My breakfast, lunch and dinner… Ahaha…(All that alcohol did _not_ go down right…)

But most importantly…

…My not-so-average secrets. I spilt every last one of them… to him.

I know what you're thinking. If he knows all my innermost intimate, embarrassing secrets… doesn't that mean he's holding all the cards to the love war?

Well let me tell you now…

Men and women _aren't_ enemies…

Men and women are soul mates!

But…

_That's another story for another time._

_x_

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Oh!

By the way…

Let me introduce myself properly.

My name is Haruno Sakura!

Born: March 28. Currently: 24 years old.

Status: I think I belong in the 'single and unavailable.'

…

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**A/N: If you're wondering 'OI! Where are the damn secrets she spilled?!' well they're in the next chapter ... haha... **

**Soo soo should I continue this? Or was the original version better? Tell me!...**

**Please leave a review!! (:D)**


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